Paula Amory Episode 2 - Time Does NOT Equal Money

In this episode, your host, Paula (me!), discusses society's obsession with "doing something" and how people need to rediscover being lazy. I also discuss the sociological theory of "time is money" and how capitalism/corporate America has ruined the feeling of relaxing.

Transcript

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Hello everyone. Welcome back to Paula Amory. Once again, this is your host, Paula, or Paula Sarai, whichever you prefer. And honestly, I don't even know which episode this is on recording. I've recorded like four or five episodes that have not been released because I don't like them for whatever reason. One of them I actually did release and then immediately deleted because I got scared that my job would fire me. I am recording today's episode on Memorial Day, so I don't have work. But because it's a long weekend, I ended up going out last night for the first time in God knows how long, saying all that to say. My voice is a little shot because we're out at bars and I'm talking loud, so my voice might sound a little different. It's fine, it's fine. I am currently laying on my couch, hungover, tired. It's well into the day. I have not been outside at all. But I think that's one of the things I want to talk about today is how I enjoy relaxing unlike anybody I know, okay? I love to lay down on my couch on a beautiful day and not go outside. And sometimes I feel guilty about it, but most of the time I really don't. And I feel like I've always been like this, even when I was a kid. Like sometimes I don't mind doing nothing, being quote unquote lazy. But I think there's a stigma to the word lazy. There's this book called Laziness Does Not Exist, which I read the first 10 pages of. And it really did change my outlook. I'm not gonna lie. I also forgot to take off Babybelle, that's my cat. I forgot to take off his collar, which has a little bell on it, so you might hear him jumping around and playing. I am too lazy to move to take his collar off, and he's like two feet away from me playing with his little mouse. So there's this book called Laziness Does Not Exist, and like I said, I have not read all of it. I haven't even read half of it. Low-key, I paused for a few minutes, so I don't remember what I was talking about. And you know what? I don't really care because this is my podcast. I can talk about whatever I want in whatever order I want. And I feel like I've been feeling a lot of pressure to follow up on my last episode, my first episode, which I got so much good feedback on, like, not like feedback, like improvement-wise, but like people, people that listen to it really liked it, and I really appreciate everybody listening to it. I honestly didn't think more than like five people would listen, but I think I have like 70 downloads or something, which to me is like I'm literally the most famous person in the world. But because the first episode was so like intellectual, quote unquote, I feel like I need to follow up on that. But you know what? I don't think I'm going to. I'm gonna talk about whatever I want, and the vibe might shift from episode to episode. The other episodes I recorded, I couldn't tell you what I talked about, except for one where I talked about how much I hate the corporate world. That's the one I deleted because if my job hurt it, I fully would get fired. Even though I didn't name anybody or names or companies anything, but I need my job. So I had to delete that. Anyway, what I was saying was I really don't believe in laziness. I feel like there's a threshold to like laziness, if that makes sense. So I kind of just contradict it myself. I mean, laziness does exist, but I think that where it is is a lot further away than what most people think. I think if you're doing something that you enjoy, no matter what it is, you're not being lazy. Like some people would consider laying on a couch on a beautiful day lazy. I don't care. I'm having a great time inside with my cat. I'm hungover, so I'm recovering. I'm not being lazy, I'm taking care of myself. And I think a lot of us, especially in America, I feel like we have been conditioned to always need to be doing something. Like I know so many people, so many friends who just always have to be doing something. If they're relaxing on the couch, they feel like they're being lazy, like they're wasting time, like I should be doing something, I should be outside, you know, whatever. And honestly, I lived in Lincoln Park for a year and I loved it. I love Lincoln Park. I do think that I noticed that on a beautiful day, everybody's outside, and that's great. Like, I'm not criticizing that, but like I feel like a lot of especially white people, it's like if you do not take advantage of this beautiful day, you like something's wrong with you. Like, you have to be outside, you have to go for a run, you have to go do something. I don't feel that way. And the reason I bring up Lincoln Park is because it is a predominantly white area, so like walking around those parts. I used to work at a store in Lincoln Park, I would notice like the conversations people were having. I could pick up on their vibe. I feel like I'm very intuitive. And as someone who majored in sociology and studied sociology, I feel like I pick up on things and understand things that a lot of people don't, or at least they don't know how to like vocalize. One of those things being why people feel like they always need to be doing something, like there is a societal there's a societal concept going on there, a sociological concept, if you will. And I'm gonna try to break it down as eloquently as I can. So what is rattling around in my brain is the phrase time is money, and where that originates from. I wrote a whole paper in college, I can't find it. I don't know what I exactly said, but I remember the gist. And it was a critique of that phrase, time is money. And I don't remember exactly what I was studying, but I remember I was reading parts of like the Communist Manifesto and some other prominent sociological figure, I forget his name, but it all stemmed from the commodification of time. The concept that your time is something that can be bought and sold. Your time is equivalent to a certain amount of money. And I think people took that concept, not people, but capitalism, took that concept and ran with it. And part of what I explored in this paper and in this sociology class was the writings of the sociologist Max Weber, spelt like Weber, but I think it's pronounced Weber, and his exploration of the Protestant work ethic and how that led to the rise of modern capitalism. Basically, these two concepts tie together time is money and the Protestant work ethic, because that Protestant work ethic basically, in layman's terms, I guess, is so is in layman's terms, it says that working hard, doing all that you can, giving all that you can is like a moral duty. Basically, the harder you work, the closer you are to God. So at the time with the rise of capitalism, it's like, oh, I'm working harder, I'm getting closer to God. So I have to work because I need to be close to God. And then capitalism came in like, oh, yeah, you actually also have to work because you have to make money. So work harder because now you're closer to God. And like the more, the more you work. It's it's it's this loop. It's they're tied in together. And that makes me think of the separation of church and state based on these theories and how they're based on each other. The separation of church and state really can't exist because capitalism is founded on this Protestant work ethic, going on, you know, this sociological theory. So the more you work, the better you are, which I don't believe. I am so against the concept of your work is all that you are, like your work gives you value. I hate that. I hate how capitalism in corporate America has made people start to feel that way. And not even just your paying job, but that ties into what I was saying earlier. You have to be doing something because doing something is your moral duty. Like you should be going for a run, hanging out with friends. I should be outside because relaxing is a bad thing because I'm not contributing, quote unquote, to society or contributing to the well-being of myself and my friends and my family. I don't want to get too like wrapped into the sociological concepts, especially without doing thorough re-research on it. I'm sure I could dig up my papers and read excerpts from them, but I don't want to do that because that's work and I don't feel like doing that right now. So the core of what I was talking about was that people need to get reacquainted with the concept of being quote unquote lazy. People need to forgive themselves for laying on the couch all day, ordering Uber Eats, and watching a TV, like a TV show. People need to be comfortable with doing nothing. Because even when you're doing nothing, you're doing something. So I want you, the listener, to genuinely think when you're doing nothing, when you're having a quote unquote relaxation day, do you feel the slightest bit of guilt? Do you feel uncomfortable? Do you feel antsy like you should be doing something? Because I do sometimes. I feel like more times than not, I feel the opposite. Like nobody loves to be at home and not speak to anybody as much as me. Like, I get my my my rent's worth of my apartment. I make sure that I spend a lot of time at home because I'm paying for it. I'm paying a lot of money for it. But on top of that, everything costs a trillion dollars. Like I went out last night. I don't even want to look. I don't, I just got a notification from Credit Karma. Hey, mind your business. Like, I don't need that right now. But when I do have things I need to do and I'm not doing them, yeah, I do feel that little bit of like guilt. Like, oh, I'm I should be outside. Even now, like it's beautiful. Like I said, it's sunny, it's like 80 degrees, which is hot for me. I prefer cold weather and I sweat at the slightest temperature change. Sertraline sweats, if you know, you know. But it's hot outside, but it's also beautiful, so I'm like, I should go outside. I should take Baby Bell up on the rooftop and let him be in the sun, which maybe I'll do later. I don't know. But I do feel that little bit of guilt. And sometimes I act on it, sometimes I don't. Like yesterday, for example, I acted on it. I cleaned my whole apartment. I ended up cleaning for like two and a half hours and like switching out my summer and winter clothes and washing my sheet, like all of the things that you're supposed to do when you clean. I ended up doing it, and I felt good, but I also was like, that's my whole day. Like, I don't have time to relax now, and I still did, but I didn't have as much time as I wanted to to relax. Even with the podcast, like I enjoy doing this. No one's no one has a gun to my head, but I started this podcast because I like talking, and like I said, the first episode got so much good, you know, traction. People have been texting me, like, where's episode two? Where's episode two? Guys, I get it. Like, you love me, I'm amazing, but that's also something that I have to do, and it is just me laying on the couch speaking into a microphone, but then I have to edit it, and like the editing takes like 30 minutes to an hour because there are so many breaks, and I have to cut stuff out, and sometimes I need to like cut out a whole section because I went on a tangent. Who knows, honestly? But the editing, and I could be watching a TV show, I could be playing Sims, I could be playing Stardew Valley on my Switch, I could be watching TikTok, I could be doing anything other than this, which is quote unquote work. But it's good work, like I I like doing it, I'm not complaining. On the other hand, I do love to ignore that guilt. I feel like I'm really good at self-care and listening to myself in the sense that when I do feel antsy and like I need to do things, sometimes I'm like, no, I want to relax, and there's nothing wrong with doing nothing. And this doing nothing in question is me enjoying myself. I'm resetting, I work 40 hours a week, like I get two days to myself most of the time. I'm going to take that time to myself and do what I enjoy. And sometimes that's hanging out with friends, sometimes that's going for a walk, sometimes that's grocery shopping, you know, sometimes it is doing things, other times it's putting my phone on do not disturb and going off grid and just rotting, if you will. I think the basis of what I'm saying is people need to do what makes them happy more. And if being outside and going for runs and walks genuinely makes you happy, uh, in the sense that you don't feel like you should be doing it or like it's a chore in any sort of a way, like if there was anything else in the world that you could be doing, you would still choose to do this one thing, then do it. That's what I mean. But if you feel like you only need to hang out with friends because you should, or you haven't seen this friend in a long time, so like uh, I should hang out with them. That's not what I mean. Like, do what genuinely makes your soul and your heart happy, and don't feel bad about it because there's so much horrible shit going on in the world. The world probably is going to end in like 20 years. Like, I talked about this last night. Like, do I still contribute to my 401k? And I do, but like, will I even get to retire? The world could be a big ball of fire by then. Because of that, we need to do what makes us happy while we can. While we still have four seasons, I need to enjoy being inside when it's hot, being outside when it's cold. And yes, I said that correct because I prefer the cold, but like I need to enjoy being able to feel a cool breeze on my cheek because in 10 years, all these stupid AI data centers will raise the degree, like the temperature of the earth by 20,000 degrees, and I won't be able to go outside without sweating. So I don't know, I feel like there's so much rattling around in my brain about this concept that like different talking points keep coming to me, and I'm trying to figure out how to make them flow. But like I said, this is my podcast. I can talk however I want, I can put them in any order I want because it makes me happy. So your time is not money, your time is valuable to you, not just who you can give your time to, but to yourself. Like a lot of my friends, I feel like, and my family members too, they have to be doing something. Oh, I should do this, like free yourself from that prison. I beg you. And unlearning that behavior, that concept, those feelings is so hard. But luckily, I feel like I never learned them. Like, I have always put my pleasure, not above all, like that just sounds like really selfish, but I feel like I have found a good balance. I think I could work on it more, like it's not perfect, but I feel like I have found a good balance of doing things for myself and doing things for other people. Like sometimes I don't want to hang out with my friends, but then I choose to and I have an amazing time, and then I go home. But like for especially people that work corporate jobs or like 40 hours a week, very routine-based, you get two days to yourself, you get 48 hours, not including sleeping, to rest and reset and relax. If you feel like you are giving more time, like you are putting in some sort of work outside of your paying job, maybe reevaluate how much of that time you're giving. I'm not saying everybody needs to be solitary loners, that's not what I'm saying, but I just want people to be more comfortable with relaxing and being by themselves. Personally, I don't know anybody that enjoys their own company as much as I do. Like, I make myself laugh all the time. I'm sitting in my apartment alone, by the way, making myself laugh. Like, I'm such a joy to be around. But like, it's just me, myself, and I. And we are fantastic company. I feel like if I were like put in solitary confinement, I would go crazy eventually. But it would take me a long time because I'm so used to I love talking to myself, clearly. I have a podcast, I love talking to myself, I love thinking about funny stories and coming up with funny stories in my brain. I'll watch entire TikToks in my brain and laugh out loud. Like, I I love it, and I don't need, I don't always need other people's company to have fun. I don't want to hate on my friends or anything. Like, love you guys down. But I also think that I enjoy my own company, and I think other people should enjoy their own company as well. Now I'm gonna do a complete 180 and talk about corporate America because this has been a big part of my subconscious for the last like two weeks, and I need to get at least some of it into the podcast in a way that won't get me fired. I hate corporate America, and I'm really trying to not say anything that will get me in trouble. Like, I'm so scared, which is part of the problem, because like what I do outside of work, unless I'm like causing physical or psychological harm to someone, like obviously, but what I do outside of work should not impact whether or not I'm employed, you know? I feel like I have signed my soul over, and that's not just me, like not just me, but I mean corporate America in general. I'm talking very generally. Can you guys hear how scared I am, like, of someone finding this and of me getting fired? Like it I'm scared. Maybe I should not talk about this. But I am gonna talk about it. Like, I feel like corporate America makes the average worker sell their soul over, like hand it over in exchange for a paycheck and health insurance. And it's so crazy to think about. Like I have to do so much just so I can afford to live, barely afford to live, and so that I can go to the doctor. Like that is a crazy concept. And I'm not the first person to vocalize this or even think about it. Obviously, we all have our qualms with, you know, the corporate world. But I think it's been rattling around in my brain because of certain things at work that I am not at liberty to discuss. But I oh God, I literally oh my god, I don't even know how to vocalize what I'm trying to say. Okay, I thought about it, and I think it ties into the first part of the episode where I was saying that people's time has been commodified. People get their value from their job. They aren't anything without their job, without what they contribute to corporate America. And I think that certain people that I work with, certain people that I have worked with in the past, not currently, because I'm trying not to get fired. In the past, okay, in the past, I'm not talking about my current job. I'm not talking about any job I've ever had, actually, as far as you know. I think that they to their core value corporate America more than they value what corporate America gives to them. I think they take their jobs so seriously, and it's not like they're saving lives, okay? Like you are most of the time making rich people or huge corporations richer. If you're like a doctor or something, or a teacher, you know, that's I'm not talking about you because you are actually saving and bettering lives. I'm talking about like Wall Street people, for example. For example, like what you're doing is not life or death. Okay. If someone mistakenly sends a calendar invite for the wrong day, not me, but someone else, it should not be a huge deal because no one is going to die because of that. They take their jobs so seriously, and it's never, ever that serious. This is a job, okay? And I think this is something that my generation, like Gen Z, has been more vocal about, especially with the pandemic hitting and you know, us coming out of college and going into the workforce right after the fact, after that huge shift. I think it's hard for these corporations that have been around for decades, even centuries, to understand that concept of like, you are just a job to me. You don't own me, you don't own my life. This is just a job. Why should I take it that seriously? I think it stems from like back in the day, jobs were harder to come by, easier to come by. I don't know, but like having a job was like a big deal, which it still is. I'm not saying that, but we can always find like we know that we can always find a new job, if that makes sense. Versus people in older generations, I think it's like this is my job, this is the most important thing in my life. I need to focus on my job so I can make money, so I can raise a family, so I can buy a house, like all of those things, versus me and a lot of my, you know, similar aged friends are like, what? Like, this is literally just a job. I'm doing you a service, actually. Like, I am giving to you. You're paying me, like, true, but you're paying me for my work. I I am giving to you. So why would I take it that seriously when I can take my work elsewhere? And once again, I just want to reiterate that this is me talking generally, very broadly. I am not talking about my current or past jobs, okay? And I'm not saying that I am going to break capitalism and create a whole new system and create a whole new world. Like, I'm not saying that that I'm gonna see that or build that, you know. I'm just criticizing the system that we have, which is broken. And sometimes I even have to criticize myself because my one of my big aspirations is to build my own company, and I have the idea I need like $15,000 to get it started. That's all I need. So if anybody wants to donate that, let me know. We can chit-chat, I can give you the whole business plan. But I have to criticize myself because even in my wildest dreams, I'm still contributing to corporate America, I'm still contributing to capitalism. However, the company that I want to build is so far from anything that I know to exist. I want to build a company that people want to work for. And I don't think anybody wants to work. Like, if you my thinking is like if you would do your job without getting paid, then you love your job. Personally, I wouldn't do any job without getting paid. So, you know, take that with a grain of salt. But a company that people want to work for, in the sense that I want to make sure that every single employee, whether it's 10, whether it's 10,000, every single employee feels like they are heard, they are seen, and they are valued the same amount. And I think as someone who has been the lowest level employee at almost all of my jobs, I've seen how the respect that I get is vastly different from the respect that like the higher up people get, like the C-suite people get. And, you know, that's just how the system is set up. But I'm like, at the end of the day, you couldn't do your job without what I'm doing. Like, if you had to do all of this without me, you wouldn't be able to. So why is it that you get all the praise and the bajillion dollars? And you know, I get to sit back and be quiet and just be grateful that I'm here. Like, no, I don't want anybody in the company that I build to feel like I'm just happy to be here. No, like you are valued, you are actively contributing to this company, and I want them to enjoy that. I also want to build a company where work-life balance is the emphasis, okay. I think after the pandemic, when people realized, wait, we can work from home, corporations started freaking out because like they're paying the lease on offices and buildings and all this stuff, and people don't want to come in because I can do almost everything that I do in an office at home, and I can spend time with my family, and I can be in sweatpants, and I can do laundry in between meetings. Like, that is the definition of work-life balance. But now a lot of companies and corporations are going back to being in like fully in person or at least like four days in the office a week, which is too much, in my opinion. There's so much to do outside of work. Like, I don't even have kids or a family or anything, but imagine I did. Like, I want to be there for my kids. I'm thinking of that TikTok of the mother who's like watching her baby sit up for the first time while she's in the office, like she's watching on like the nanny cam. Hey, that would break me a that would break me into a million pieces. I don't think that people need to be in the office to do their job. And we have seen that because of the pandemic. Like, I enjoy going into the office. You know, I like seeing my friends. I also like the routine of like getting up, getting dressed, and having a purpose, which let me criticize, I could criticize that point too, but I already have like work isn't my purpose, but I mean, I like having the goal of like let me get to the office, let me, you know, do something today, which, like I said, I just criticize, but I'm not perfect. I am a product of the society that we live in. But back to the point, I want to build a company where work-life balance is the emphasis. I don't care how often you're in the office. You can come in five days a week, you can come in once a month. I genuinely don't care as long as you're doing your job. And I want to spread that message, I want that to be like one of the central messages of my company. Like, I want people to know you have a life outside of this job, and I want you to live that life. I want you to do your job, but I also want you to feel like you have a good balance because I feel like when you have a better work-life balance, when you feel like you are being replenished outside of your job, you'll do better work. And that's why burnout is such a huge thing in today's society. Like, people are being worked to the bone to get one, maybe two days a week to themselves. And even then, they're worrying about what they didn't do last week, what they have to do on Monday. Like the like the psychiatric, the mental burden that working a corporate job has on people really needs to be studied because I swear, people are losing their minds. And people are going crazy worrying about work whole time. Everything they're doing is fake. Like everything in the corporate world is fake. None of it's real, okay? It's just made up words and concepts and ideas, and the smarter you sound, the more money you make. I will stop there before I get too upset and say something that will get me in trouble. So, thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of Polyamory. I couldn't even tell you what I just talked about, but I hope it made some sense to some people. If not, don't even worry about it. You just listen to me talk for 35 minutes. It's fine. Like, I feel like that was a good use of your time. But seriously, thank you so much for listening and supporting my podcast. It means the world to me. You don't even know. So I will be back with another episode the next time I have something to talk about. And yeah, I'll see you soon.